Someone Pushing Your Boundaries?
Ever struggle with personal boundary setting? And once set, reinforcing them?
When we set boundaries in relationships, it may be necessary to go past the point of head knowledge and emotional sensing to spiritual discernment for the boundary reinforcement. Take for example the tirade of another verbally coming against you with every accusation and affront possible as a defense to you confronting bad behavior. While this person may be trying to blame-shift their way out of responsibility, the affront to you is painful, real and offensive.
If we come into agreement with the mud-slinging.
Learning to shift quickly to a spiritual birds-eye view perspective may help you know best how to handle what’s coming against you and your boundaries. From this stance you may be able to spiritually discern the negative force at play, not only at work with the violator, but also attempting to trigger your defenses in the hopes of escalating the confrontation. Learning to discern spiritually gives you the insight needed to choose how you’ll deflect the arrows coming at you.
Recently I had an experience that tested my resolve. It was a relationship boundary that had been crossed once too often. Previously I either ignored or minimally responded. This time, however as I shifted to spiritual insight, I knew my tack had to change. I deflected the arrow with a spiritual truth, not a personal obvious truth. I de-escalated the confrontation with clear, distinct words of spiritual insight and clarity that left no room for doubt as to their meaning. It immediately changed the dynamic of the confrontation. Instead of engaging in a battle of the wills I chose a spiritual response that reinforced the previous boundary in a whole new way. I still had to stand firm emotionally and verbally enforce the boundary, but as I shifted to a spiritual view the negativity diminished. It was as though the wind had been taken out of the blame-shifting negativity sails trying to operate.
When confronted with a negative familiar pattern in the form of a boundary violation by another, it takes an unfamiliar response to stop the interchange. When we mentally or emotionally come into agreement with the negativity, we give credence to its power and usually enflame the situation to a greater degree. But as we perhaps see spiritually the woundedness, the hurt, the fear trying to control the situation — in them OR US –we have fresh ways with more choices in responding. Spiritual discernment isn’t magical, it isn’t mystical, but it’s real and oftentimes an overlooked aspect of boundary keeping.
For example, it’s easy to see outright anger in someone’s actions, behaviors and words. It isn’t always easy to discern the full-spectrum spiritual meaning of the scene. Someone who still operates from a place of woundedess may react out of anger as the only way of seemingly protecting themselves. You don’t need to be a therapist to recognize that simple truism, but it does take keen spiritual discernment to see the root, the tree and the branches of the cause giving you added anti-inflammatory tactics to work with.
Woundedness, rejection, abandonment, fear all have spiritual dynamics that operate as a defensive pose to a controlling needy ego and the unregenerated soul. When viewed spiritually, a response of love, albeit tough love spoken truthfully may be the antidote to anger’s emotional posture. It can be the checkmate move needed to stop the conflict, causing a new dynamic and level of empowerment needed to reinforce a boundary while staying above the obvious fray.
Assessing and responding from an empowered place of spiritual integrity is a wonderful tool to assist and help keep your boundaries intact. There may still be some emotional fallout, a tinge of mental anguish but spiritually the battle has been won, as you purposed to respond from a whole and spiritually assessed viewpoint. No one gets it right every time, we all misjudge at times, but those times that you know that you know you used spiritual insights and integrity to deflect the fray is very fulfilling.
Hindsight is 20/20, but spiritual insight is powerful NOW, in the present.
Power struggles, boundary charges, personal affronts are part of life. Employing aspects of spiritual insight can be a game changer in boundary setting and boundary keeping.
If you’re worn out trying to logically or emotionally convince another of boundaries that are important to you, shift to viewing from a spiritual perspective. Insights gained and employed from that perspective may be just the remedy needed.
Coachpreneur™ Judyann | Your Spiritually Savvy Insights Coach©
‘One Divine Insight is Worth Its Weight in Gold’ – Coachpreneur Judyann
Brilliant Life by Divine Design LLC©